I just had the following conversation (yes, I said conversation or "an informal talk involving two people or a small group of people") with T -
Me (walking into the room where she is "watching" Phineas and Ferb or, to be more exact, rewinding the same 10 seconds of a song over and over): "Hey, whatcha doin?"
T: "Watch Phineas and Ferb?"
Me (dumbfounded that I got an immediate response): "You are?! Do you like Phineas and Ferb?"
T: "Yes!"
Wow... no prompting needed. Those little surprises are awesome. :)
That is all.
Thursday, October 2, 2014
Monday, February 3, 2014
Black cloud
Tonight was a tough one.
We've had some difficult discussions before: the "Your sister has autism and that's what makes her different" talk, the "One of the things that makes you you is that you have Aspergers" talk and tonight the "Mom, I just wish I could be like everyone else" talk. Is there anything that pierces a mother's heart as much as knowing your child is hurting and not being able to do a damn thing about it?
In this moment, I'm ashamed of myself. Even as her mother, her advocate, the one who loves her best, I think I was naive or, better yet, ignorant enough to hope that her Aspergers would keep her from the awareness of other peoples' views of her. I honestly let myself think she could be just robotic enough that the sideways looks and giggles wouldn't penetrate her psyche, or so smart that she just wouldn't care.
Ignorance is truly bliss. She teaches me everyday, it's just that some days I don't want to learn.
I've heard it said that having children is like having your heart walk around outside your body. I don't know if I've ever felt that as strongly as I do right now.
I know she'll be okay. She's such an awesome girl. Kids are resilient, right? Things get easier, right? For now, that will get me by. That's what I'll tell myself so that I can sleep tonight.
We've had some difficult discussions before: the "Your sister has autism and that's what makes her different" talk, the "One of the things that makes you you is that you have Aspergers" talk and tonight the "Mom, I just wish I could be like everyone else" talk. Is there anything that pierces a mother's heart as much as knowing your child is hurting and not being able to do a damn thing about it?
In this moment, I'm ashamed of myself. Even as her mother, her advocate, the one who loves her best, I think I was naive or, better yet, ignorant enough to hope that her Aspergers would keep her from the awareness of other peoples' views of her. I honestly let myself think she could be just robotic enough that the sideways looks and giggles wouldn't penetrate her psyche, or so smart that she just wouldn't care.
Ignorance is truly bliss. She teaches me everyday, it's just that some days I don't want to learn.
I've heard it said that having children is like having your heart walk around outside your body. I don't know if I've ever felt that as strongly as I do right now.
I know she'll be okay. She's such an awesome girl. Kids are resilient, right? Things get easier, right? For now, that will get me by. That's what I'll tell myself so that I can sleep tonight.
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